Proctoring the 2013 state math contest

I woke up at 6:40 this morning and realized I’d perhaps underestimated the power of time. I needed to be in the Animal Science building by 7:30, checking in as a proctor for the state math contest. By some miracle I scored one of the first spots in the Aggie Terrace parking structure—free during spring break!—and arrived at check-in around 7:20, ten minutes ahead of schedule.

Let’s just be honest up front: I expected chaos from there on. But really, the contest was pretty straightforward. When I arrived at my assigned classroom in Old Main building the other proctor (Hira) was already there, but we waited a few minutes before a custodian came to unlock the door. Schools from all over the state gradually pulled up to campus in their buses. Until 9:30, we read and chatted. (About movies and TV shows mostly.) By 9:30 all of our students had finally arrived and the testing began.

Which was also pretty straightforward. Answer questions, replace pencils, update them on time remaining—you get the idea. I basically stood at the front of the classroom and studied for my next actuarial exam (Exam FM) for two and a half hours with breaks here and there to help the students and to monitor their activity. At noon everyone remaining was forced to hand in their tests and then left for lunch in the Taggart Student Center.

Again, pretty simple. We grabbed lunch and kind of monitored the hallways to make sure the junior high and high school students weren’t damaging property or climbing on trees and such. (Which, I’m told, did happen.) Gradually the students left to their buses and we were pretty much done by about 1:30.

When we checked in this morning, I grabbed my official math contest t-shirt. Looking at it just makes you want to do some math in your spare time, doesn't it?

Not a thankless Thanksgiving

Karen spent most of the daylight hours in the kitchen as she put together our Thanksgiving meal. By the time it was ready, I had snacked too much to really dive in. But I did have a little of everything! And it was stupendous.

There’s just one small detail we accidentally omitted from this meal. Of all the meals throughout the entire year, this is one of the very few—if not the only one—that didn’t start with a prayer. You’d think that of all the meals we eat, this is the one for which we would offer much THANKS...but alas. We did not. We simply forgot to. Don’t ask me how.

I should say that we talked a bit this morning about how blessed we have been this past year. This has been a subject of conversation for quite some time, actually, as Karen and I have reflected on what 2012 has delivered to us. We both feel more blessed than we can say that we have been fortunate enough to move here to Logan, for me to go back to school and pass Exam P, and for all the other things in between. Our fridge broke three times, someone got into a car accident with me, and some other unwanted things occurred, but above all of that we are moving forward as a family and progressing to a point of establishing ourselves in a good career. The future is bright, and we are thankful.

Here's a quick top ten list of thankful-fors, so called because they are the first ten things, for which I am thankful, that I am writing off the top of my head.

1. A passing grade on the first actuarial exam
2. Reach mint-waxed floss
3. The scriptures and the gospel of Jesus Christ
4. A temple so close by
5. My Zebra mechanical pencil and Pentel Tri-Eraser
6. Ice cream
7. A vacuum and a mop
8. Karen's unfailing sense of love and optimism
9. Kind words from strangers
10. Baby Einstein videos

A compliment from a friend

Vahan Petrosyan, one of Dave’s recitation leaders and a good friend of mine, paid me a great compliment today. I crossed paths with him and his girlfriend Ying in the engineering building today. The first thing he said had to do with Exam P.

VAHAN: How did you do?

ME: I passed!

Vahan smiled and gave me a high five.

VAHAN: That’s great!

ME: Yeah!

I hadn’t talked with Ying before.

YING: I do the review sessions for your probability class.

ME: Oh, yeah. I don’t think I’ve ever been to one of those.

VAHAN: Well you obviously don’t need it.

YING: Vahan told me that there was a super smart guy in that class.

ME: Thanks, Vahan!

I love compliments. I should give them more often, because they feel so good. Vahan has passed the first two actuarial exams, as has Ying, so they are both geniuses. Very cool.

Out of my way, Exam P!

I PASSED THE FIRST ACTUARIAL EXAM!! Oh my goodness, I cannot tell you what a relief this is.

I made it to the University of Utah in Salt Lake an hour ahead of schedule to give myself time to get lost. No trouble came to me, thankfully.

I tried to feel calm, but of course my blood sizzled with anxiety and anticipation with each passing minute. The proctors let me start my test early, perhaps because they weren’t at full capacity. I placed my belongings in a locker, stepped into the testing room, sat down, and got started.

The first half of the exam felt very familiar and very manageable. In fact, I made really good time until I got to about eight or ten problems remaining. Then, I spent a bit too much time on a few problems and got off schedule, leaving me only ten minutes at the end for the last three questions. Since you have to allow about six minutes per question, this was not a good sign, and I began to panic. But I looked at the problems quickly, went with intuition, and had to end at the three hour mark.

And then this ridiculous and unwelcome screen appeared.

INTERMISSION: Hey, here’s a 15 question survey about your testing experience before we show you your score. Sound good?

ME: No.

I went through that survey like lightning. All I cared about was seeing the word "pass" (or "fail").

It’s hard to describe the anxiety I felt before that final screen showed up. Because the last handful of problems proved challenging, I thought for sure I failed and would be retaking Exam P in January. I clicked “Next.”

“Congratulations!”

I literally put both hands to my mouth and lost my breath. I stared at the screen for 15 seconds and took it in. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I passed! Clear as day, there it was on my computer screen. I passed.

Gaining control, I exited the room, finished checking out, and left the center. Immediately, I phoned Karen.

KAREN: Hello?

ME: I passed!

KAREN: You passed! Oh my goodness, that’s amazing! You passed! Oh honey, I’m so proud of you!

We talked briefly and then I went into the bathroom. I found a stall and immediately said a silent prayer. I felt so grateful that I almost cried. (I can be a pretty emotional person. Ask Karen.)

It’s impossible to explain the feelings Karen and I invested in this exam and what feelings came as a result of my success. Fifteen or sixteen months ago, I told a job interviewer that I wanted to be an actuary and that I figured five to ten years would probably be enough time to see me through to that. Now, about a year later, I am halfway through my second bachelor’s degree—having started it only ten or eleven months ago—and I have passed the first actuarial exam. If ever there was a young family that had an immeasurable heap of blessings to be grateful for, it is us. So much has happened since I was laid off a year ago, and so many great things keep happening. As much as I feared November 17 since a few months ago, it quickly became a day we will never forget.

I spent the entire drive home talking on my phone as I shared the news. Even though I had my iPod for music, I hardly used it. But about two minutes away from home, I decided to listen to one song. I turned on The Avett Brothers’ “The Once and Future Carpenter” and heard this line:

If I live the life I’m given, I won’t be scared to die.

Karen and I knelt at our bedside last night and prayed together. In our own way, we gave the Lord the exam and asked that He do with it whatever He pleased. We committed to be okay with whatever the outcome. But at the same time, we realized that this wasn’t our entire life. It was just one small part. Life is about living and experiencing from day to day, and, as such, putting all our emotions and happiness on this exam would have been pointless and potentially damaging. So it is with many of life’s adventures, I guess. “If I live the life I’m given, I won’t be scared to die.” Or, I won’t be scared to fail on a given day.

Later tonight, at a church meeting (stake conference evening session), I heard the choir sing “Praise to the Lord, the Almighty”, which struck me and made me pause.

Hast thou not seen

How all thou needest hath been

Granted in what he ordaineth?

Praise to the Lord, who doth prosper thy way and defend thee.

Surely his goodness and mercy shall ever attend thee.

Ponder anew

What the Almighty can do . . . .

I know people who have not yet passed Exam P. I don’t know what sets me apart from them, but I do know that, as the brother of Jared said thousands of years ago, “O Lord, . . . thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man” (Ether 3:4). For some reason, this is the right thing for us right now. And we can't be more thrilled.